Monday, February 22, 2010

If I was more irresponsible..

If I was more irresponsible with my (Greg's) money, if I never had buyer's remorse, or if I had a PAYING job I would wrecklessly spend all my money here: ModCloth
I would have a new dress for every occasion. I'd go see more foreign films wearing the french cinema dress, and go to work tomorrow in the Miss Issipi Dress in River. I would indulge in vintage looks, and have a new quirky necklace for every outfit (I actually have this necklace :D).

Oh, I wish people would give me money for free so I could be more irresponsible and stylish!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Documented Growth

Garbanzo just turned 1 year old today! I can't believe how much he's grown! We brought him home weighing about 9 lbs, and now he weighs 51 lbs! (pictures are in order from oldest in age to youngest in age)

Happy birthday lovebug!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Follow Up W/ Meaning

Well, I realized just yesterday that My google analytics was showing that I had 0 readers because it had been removed, woops! My bad! Around Christmas time I changed the background of my blog and accidentally removed the html code, so who knows how many readers I've had. BUT I do know that I've had at least 3 readers! Thank you Kristen, Michelle, and Katie for reading my blog and responding!

I noticed the common thread in your responses to what makes your life meaningful is FRIENDS and FAMILY! And I agree! My friends and family make my life so meaningful. They (You) fill my time with laughter, with love, with sincere interactions. I feel like it is the personal connections I make with others that create any sense of spirituality I ever feel.

I always tell Greg that I live a 'charmed life', and I really believe I do. I've been so lucky to do just about EVERYTHING I've ever wanted to do. I've travelled to places I've always wanted to see, I married the man of my dreams, I'm pursuing a career (psychotherapy) based on my interests (and have the added benefit of being invited into people's most intimate parts of their lives even if just for a little while), I have the best dog and family in the world, and I feel like I "have it all"~I pursue my hobbies, I have my health, and I am mastering the arts of being a home maker and a career woman. I mention these because it is these things that I look back on, or forward to, that fill my heart with warmth and meaning.

In short, I think what gives my life meaning is my love for others and an optimistic outlook on life.

One quote I enjoyed from Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning says, "Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in his spiritual being, his inner self." I like that.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Calling All Bloggers

Dear fellow bloggers,

I have a question. I want to know what gives your life meaning?

I recently read Man's Search For Meaning by Victor Frankl, so this particular topic has been on my mind. As an Existentialist at heart I believe it's what people designate as being meaningful that makes life worthwhile.

Since Christmas my google reader went from showing I had 100 readers weekly to 0 readers weekly, so I hope I get at least a couple responses!

I look forward to learning something meaningful about YOU!


Sunday, February 7, 2010

Life's a Dance, We All Have to Do

Just before Christmas in 2008 my good friend Heather died, doing what she loved most, skiing, she was caught in an avalanche. She was one of the most vivacious people I've ever known. Full of life. She'd travelled the world, dancing her way through. She spoke at least 3 or 4 languages, which is quite unusual for an American. She is the most enthusiastic person I've ever known. She had a genuine curiosity about everyone and all things she came into contact with.

After she died her family had facebook memorialize her facebook page, so it still exists. Friends and family still post on her wall. From time to time I look her up to see what people are saying. A full year has passed and people still post on her wall almost daily. It always makes me cry. It makes me so happy and devastatingly sad to see how many people's lives she's touched. I look at it and feel happy that she's remembered and so loved, then I realize how many people miss her and the pain they all must feel when they think of her.

Recently someone posted this youtube video on her wall saying that the song reminded her of Heather, it warmed my heart. Any of you that know her will probably agree that this song reminds you of her.

The song We're All in the Dance by Feist has reminded me of Heather for a very long time too.

I feel like life is so short and the only hope there is at all is to find love and happiness in the people around me and to give them my love in return.

Heather was the first of three to die last year of people I love. In September Greg's Grandfather Nelson died, and just before Christmas his Grandfather Locke died. Both of these men were amazing people, and accepted me into their families with so much love. I wish I had words to describe what kind of people they were, but I don't. Nothing I say could come close to describe the kindness and gentleness they personified. They were true family men that ALWAYS put their loved ones first, they were patriotic (both fought in WWII), incredibly organized and took pride in all they did. It's funny how genetic personality traits show themselves as families grow. As I got to know Greg's grandfathers I recognized so many traits in them also present in Greg.

I wish I could express what I'm feeling and thinking better, I want to say so much, I want to be accurate in describing the way these three have touched my life.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

A break from fantasy

Tonight I went babysitting.

The kids I was caring for had found some salamanders. The salamanders were sitting on the kitchen table in a bowl of dirt. The oldest girl asked, "What do salamanders eat? Can you look it up on the internet?" (she's 6).

"Sure" I said, as I proceeded to pull out my iphone and google 'what do salamanders eat'. Within minutes this six year old's world was about to fall apart.

I cheerfully report, "It says that they eat worms, snails, spiders, and centipedes."

The six year old starts running for the table crying, "There are worms in that bowl!!!! I love worms! I want the salamanders to eat food, not other animals!"

I stop her just in time to save dirt, salamanders, and worms from falling all over the kitchen floor. She's visibly devastated and mad at me for ironically saving these "animals" lives from the wrath of her little internal world that is quickly unraveling. Maybe I didn't do the right thing, maybe I should have let it all fall to the floor.

Next thing I know, she's running to her bedroom. She's on the top bunk bawling her heart out, repeating over and over again, "I want them to eat food not other animals!"

Her younger sister (a 4 year old) rushes to her side to ease her pain. "It's ok ____, animals have to eat other animals to live, that's how they live. it's ok!" I couldn't have said it better myself, but this does not calm the six year old's tears.

I babble on about how "all animals are born of the earth, live a life, and then return back to earth". I don't know if this was the right thing to say.

She continues to cry. After a few more minutes her tears subside, she lifts her head from the pillow and says, "it's ok, I learned that __?__ have to eat seals and that they always give thanks to the seals before they eat them."

Again, the 4 year old chimes in and says, "yeah, animals have to eat other animals to live."

The six year old says, "yeah, we eat fish."

Then all was well and playing with dolls and fairies resumed.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Day We Brought Garbanzo Home

Garbanzo's 1st birthday is coming up this month. I can't believe how much he has grown up! This morning I came across a video of him and his best pal Abbie from THE day we brought him home (he's 10 weeks in the video). It is so cute, and such a good memory, a must watch indeed :)